I’d rather have the thieves than the neighbors - the thieves don't impose. Thieves just want your things, neighbors want your time.

I've always loathed rich people, so I've become who I've loathed, which makes it doubly difficult, if you can follow me.

You know who wears sunglasses inside? Blind people and assholes.

Most practical jokes, I'll feel too bad for the other person so I'll stop just before the punchline.

I don't like to analyze my music too much. It just comes welling up out of the depths of my soul.

Sometimes you have to rely on sex and bodily functions.

Pretty good. Pretttttttty, pretttttttttty, pretttttty good.