I wasn't making fun of my father in-law's religion. And even if I was so what, it's a comedy. Religion should be made fun of, it's quite ridiculous isn't it. Think how people spend their lives, they have no idea. They go around as if this is a fact. It's so insane you know. If I really believed that stuff I'd keep it to myself. Lest somebody think I was out of my mind.

I learned the first night that IHOP's not the place to order fish.

You write about what you know.

I find human contact repulsive.

Sometimes you have to rely on sex and bodily functions.

Hitler really ruined that mustache for everybody. It’s really an interesting mustache, but now, no one can wear it.

I'm trying to elevate small-talk to medium talk.