You can always tell a real friend: when you've made a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job.

It's strange that men should take up crime when there are so many legal ways to be dishonest.

America is a land of taxation that was founded to avoid taxation.

Scientists are still trying to produce life in the laboratory, but it shouldn't be difficult if the laboratory assistant is pretty and willing.

As the farmer said, "I'm not greedy, all I want is the land next to mine.

Most hierarchies are nowadays so cumbered with rules and traditions, and so bound in by public laws, that even high employees do not have to lead anyone anywhere, in the sense of pointing out the direction and setting the pace. They simply follow precedents, obey regulations, and move at the head of the crowd. Such employees lead only in the sense that the curved wooden figurehead leads the ship .

There are two kinds of egotists: Those who admit it, and the rest of us