A philosopher is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isn't there. A theologian is the man who finds it.

There are some men who in a fifty-fifty proposition insist on getting the hyphen too.

Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents' shortcomings.

Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.

Noblest of all dogs is the hot-dog; it feeds the hand that bites it.

In the country of the blind, the one-eyed king can still goof up.

The surest sign that you haven't any sense is to argue with one who hasn't.