Scientists are still trying to produce life in the laboratory, but it shouldn't be difficult if the laboratory assistant is pretty and willing.

Some problems are so complex that you have to be highly intelligent and well informed just to be undecided about them.

Television has changed the American child from an irresistable force to an immovable object.

Political success is the ability, when the inevitable occurs, to get credit for it.

Humility is the embarrassment you feel when you tell people how wonderful you are.

The cave-dweller's wife complained that he hadn't dragged her anywhere in months.

The incompetent with nothing to do can still make a mess of it.