Scientists are still trying to produce life in the laboratory, but it shouldn't be difficult if the laboratory assistant is pretty and willing.

Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame. Education is a method whereby one acquires a higher grade of prejudices. In spite of the cost of living, it's still popular.

America is a land of taxation that was founded to avoid taxation.

If we lacked imagination enough to foresee something better, life would indeed be a tragedy.

Fortune knocks but once, but misfortune has much more patience.

Every man serves a useful purpose: a miser, for example, makes a wonderful ancestor.

The devil could change. He was once an angel and may be evolving still.