Scientists are still trying to produce life in the laboratory, but it shouldn't be difficult if the laboratory assistant is pretty and willing.

A true friend will see you through when others see that you are through.

When a New Yorker looks like he has a suntan, it's probably rust.

No committee could ever come up with anything as revolutionary as a camel - anything as practical and as perfectly designed to perform effectively under such difficult conditions.

An optimist expects his dreams to come true; a pessimist expects his nightmares to.

Prejudice is one of the world's greatest labor-saving devices; it enables you to form an opinion without having to dig up the facts.

If you can't keep up, drag them down to your level.