Every man serves a useful purpose: a miser, for example, makes a wonderful ancestor.

A man convinced against his will is not convinced.

Nobody can be perfect unless he admits his faults, but if he has faults how can he be perfect?

There are some men who in a fifty-fifty proposition insist on getting the hyphen too.

The machinery of government is a vast series of interlocking hierarchies riddled through and through with incompetence.

An optimist is one who makes the best of it when he gets the worst of it.

A philosopher is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isn't there. A theologian is the man who finds it.