Every man serves a useful purpose: a miser, for example, makes a wonderful ancestor.

An intelligence test sometimes shows a man how smart he would have been not to have taken it.

Egypt: Where the Israelites would still be if Moses had been a bureaucrat.

Marriage is a good deal like taking a bath-not so hot once you get accustomed to it.

Nobody can be perfect unless he admits his faults, but if he has faults how can he be perfect?

If we lacked imagination enough to foresee something better, life would indeed be a tragedy.

As the farmer said, "I'm not greedy, all I want is the land next to mine.