Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.

The reason crime doesn't pay is that when it does, it is called a more respectable name.

You can't cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water. Don't let yourself indulge in vain wishes.

The incompetent with nothing to do can still make a mess of it.

Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent.

Everyone is in awe of the lion tamer in a cage with half a dozen lions-everyone but a school bus driver.

Two can live as cheaply as one - if they both have good jobs.