My problem is I say what I'm thinking before I think what I'm saying.

There are more pretty photographs of women than there are photographs of pretty women.

Scientists are still trying to produce life in the laboratory, but it shouldn't be difficult if the laboratory assistant is pretty and willing.

Reality is for people who can't face drugs.

Many an optimist has become rich simply by buying out a pessimist.

Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their level of incompetence.

A philosopher is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isn't there. A theologian is the man who finds it.