Expert: a man who makes three correct guesses consecutively.
A pessimist is a man who looks both ways when he crosses the street.
America is a country that doesn't know where it is going but is determined to set a speed record getting there.
Egypt: Where the Israelites would still be if Moses had been a bureaucrat.
The cave-dweller's wife complained that he hadn't dragged her anywhere in months.
When you see yourself quoted in print and you’re sorry you said it, it suddenly becomes a misquotation.