. . . if you can tell the difference between good advice and bad advice, you don't need advice.

Everyone is in awe of the lion tamer in a cage with half a dozen lions-everyone but a school bus driver.

I inherited my ability from both parents; my mother's ability for spending money, and my father's ability for not earning it.

A rut is a grave with the ends knocked out.

If at first you don't succeed, you may be at your level of incompetence already.

When you see yourself quoted in print and you’re sorry you said it, it suddenly becomes a misquotation.

If the outcome is good, what's the difference between motives that sound good and good, sound motives?