It is wise to remember that you are one of those who can be fooled some of the time.

We are members of a strange species that devotes its energies to climbing the ladder of success in order to make money to buy things we don't like.

Don't believe in miracles - depend on them.

Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame. Education is a method whereby one acquires a higher grade of prejudices. In spite of the cost of living, it's still popular.

All science is concerned with the relationship of cause and effect. Each scientific discovery increases man's ability to predict the consequences of his actions and thus his ability to control future events.

Marriage is a good deal like taking a bath-not so hot once you get accustomed to it.

Noblest of all dogs is the hot-dog; it feeds the hand that bites it.