You have to understand, I don't play golf for fun. It's my business. When the mailman starts delivering mail on his off day, that's when I'll start playing golf for the hell of it. I like to play in tournaments. There are many great courses around the world that I have never played that are next door to tournaments. I have not played them because I don't play for fun.

There is no such thing as a natural golfer but you become one by hitting thousands of balls

Columbus went around the world in 1492. That isn't a lot of strokes when you consider the course.

It's the most fun I've had with my clothes on.

I've played golf with three U.S presidents.

I may buy the Alamo and give it back to Mexico.

If God wanted you to putt cross-handed, he would have made your left arm longer.