You have to understand, I don't play golf for fun. It's my business. When the mailman starts delivering mail on his off day, that's when I'll start playing golf for the hell of it. I like to play in tournaments. There are many great courses around the world that I have never played that are next door to tournaments. I have not played them because I don't play for fun.

My swing is so bad I look like a caveman killing his lunch.

You don't know what pressure is until you play for five bucks with only two bucks in your pocket.

A rough should have high grass. When you go bowling they don't give you anything for landing in the gutter, do they?

I have an orthopedic pillow that's made out of a sponge material. I have a plate in my throat, and I have to be careful or I could end up with a bad neck in the morning. That pillow is a must everywhere I go.

I may buy the Alamo and give it back to Mexico.

I stay away from the telephone if at all possible.