Pressure is trying to make a putt for a $10 bet with only $5 in your pocket.

Nobody but you and your caddie care what you do out there, and if your caddie is betting against you, he doesn't care, either.

Caddies are a breed of their own. If you shoot 66, they say, "Man, we shot 66!" But go out and shoot 77, and they say "Hell, he shot 77!"

My swing is so bad I look like a caveman killing his lunch.

I didn't want to change the name on the towels.

I believe in reincarnation. In my last life I was a peasant. Next time around, I'd like to be an eagle. Who hasn't dreamed they could fly? They're a protected species, too.

You're Mexican until you make money and then you're Spanish.