Just remember, somewhere there's some guy who's tired of putting up with her crap

There is no such thing as natural touch. Touch is something you create by hitting millions of golf balls.

I thought Manual Labor was a Mexican golf pro.

To me, the [British] Open is the tournament I would come to if I had to leave a month before and swim over.

I still swing the way I used to, but when I look up the ball is going in a different direction.

In case of a thunderstorm, stand in the middle of the fairway and hold up a one iron. Not even God can hit a one iron.

I'm a golfaholic. And all the counseling in the world wouldn't help me.