Arnie has more people watching him park the car than we do out on the course.

If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.

99% of the putts that are short don't go in the hole

If your concentration is getting bad, take up bass fishing. It will really improve your ability to focus. If you aren't ready when that fish hits, you can't set the hook.

I'm not out there just to be dancing around. I expect to win every time I tee up.

Pressure is when you've got thirty-five bucks riding on a four-foot putt and you've only got five dollars left.

You have to understand, I don't play golf for fun. It's my business. When the mailman starts delivering mail on his off day, that's when I'll start playing golf for the hell of it. I like to play in tournaments. There are many great courses around the world that I have never played that are next door to tournaments. I have not played them because I don't play for fun.