I'm going to win so much money this year, my caddie will make the top twenty money-winners list.

If you've ever driven across Texas, you know how different one area of the state can be from another. Take El Paso. It looks as much like Dallas as I look like Jack Nicklaus

His nerve, his memory, and I can't remember the third thing.

I'm hitting the driver so good I gotta dial the operator for long distance after I hit it.

My family was so poor the lady next door gave birth to me.

Living in Dallas, I root for the Mavericks and the Stars and the Cowboys, but I've always pulled for the Chicago Cubs. I enjoy watching them play.

A hungry dog hunts best.