Only bad golfers are lucky. They're the ones bouncing balls off trees, curbs, turtles and cars. Good golfers have bad luck. When you hit the ball straight, a funny bounce is bound to be unlucky.

There are two things that won't last long in this world, and that's dogs chasing cars and pros putting for pars.

I'm not out there just to be dancing around. I expect to win every time I tee up.

My divorce came to me as a complete surprise. That's what happens when you haven't been home in eighteen years.

A hungry dog hunts best.

You're Mexican until you make money and then you're Spanish.

If Jack Nicklaus had to play my tee shots, he couldn't break 80. He'd be a pharmacist with a string of drugstores in Ohio.