My divorce came to me as a complete surprise. That's what happens when you haven't been home in eighteen years.

I'm a golfaholic. And all the counseling in the world wouldn't help me.

I'm going to win so much money this year, my caddie will make the top twenty money-winners list.

I got no pride on the hole. It's a par-5 and I play it that way. A four is a birdie.

If God wanted you to putt cross-handed, he would have made your left arm longer.

They say I'm famous for my chip shots. Sure, when I hit 'em right, they land just so, like a butterfly with sore feet.

You don't know what pressure is until you play for five bucks with only two bucks in your pocket.