I've played golf with three U.S presidents.
Caddies are a breed of their own. If you shoot 66, they say, "Man, we shot 66!" But go out and shoot 77, and they say "Hell, he shot 77!"
I'm a golfaholic. And all the counseling in the world wouldn't help me.
In case of a thunderstorm, stand in the middle of the fairway and hold up a one iron. Not even God can hit a one iron.
My family was so poor the lady next door gave birth to me.
I'm going to win so much money this year, my caddie will make the top twenty money-winners list.