If it wasn't for golf, I don't know what I'd be doing. If my IQ had been two points lower, I'd have been a plant somewhere.

His nerve, his memory, and I can't remember the third thing.

I believe in reincarnation. In my last life I was a peasant. Next time around, I'd like to be an eagle. Who hasn't dreamed they could fly? They're a protected species, too.

I may buy the Alamo and give it back to Mexico.

Two things that are not long for this world: dogs that chase cars and professional golfers who putt for pars.

I'm really going to do my homework. I'm going to be down there on the practice tee finding out if a guy's wife beat him up the night before, important stuff like that. Stuff that people want to know.

There is no such thing as natural touch. Touch is something you create by hitting millions of golf balls.