There are two things that won't last long in this world, and that's dogs chasing cars and pros putting for pars.

Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe.

My wife doesn't care what I do when I'm away, as long as I don't have a good time.

How can they beat me? I've been struck by lightning, had two back operations, and been divorced twice.

You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.

I thought I'd blown it at the 17th when I drove into a trap. God is a Mexican.

I still sweat. My guts are still grinding out there. Sometimes I have enough cotton in my mouth to knit a sweater.