The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it.

There's always a down side with any freedom. It's not just homosexual freedom, but any sexual freedom comes at a price, and that is usually art.

My only challenge was to tell my truth, man... figure out what I had to say. These days, it's not enough to boost that roomful of strangers. The young comic spends all their time trying to sound different from the million other jokesters grabbing for the mic.

Guys are like dogs. They keep comin' back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time, they're gone.

TV is just advertising for your live gig, so I'm playing whichever show is gonna get me the biggest crowd.

When you're eight years old, nothing is any of your business.

Once you sleep on feathers you can't go back to sleeping on the floor.