The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it.

You got to pay your dues to get the joke. Besides, laughter is cheap and very portable. If there's a pogrom, or they're blaming you for the plague, nothing is easier to pack than a sense of humor.

If I just stuck to pot I might have found out what a drag being an aging hipster actually was.

That's where the conflict starts. We all want for a wife a combination Sunday school teacher and a $500-a-night hooker.

The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of once every fifteen seconds.

Alright, let's admit it, we Jews killed Christ - but it was only for three days.

When earth gets good and crowded, like 15th century England, then some new Pilgrims are gonna rocket their Mayflowers to a new solar system.