I was a Jew talking about Goyim religion. If I had just stuck to Moses, everything would have been cool. But, copping to being part of the whole Christ murder conspiracy got everyone goose-stepping again.

You got to pay your dues to get the joke. Besides, laughter is cheap and very portable. If there's a pogrom, or they're blaming you for the plague, nothing is easier to pack than a sense of humor.

I am influenced by every second of my waking hour.

The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it.

In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls.

I was surprised when Nixon passed the test and showed up in heaven, but, I guess Hitler threw off the curve for our century.

You know there's no crooked politicians. There's never a lie because there is never any truth.