When you're eight years old, nothing is any of your business.

I'm sure that half the buzz from smoking grass was the fact that it was so illegal.

Children ought to watch pornographic movies: it's healthier than learning about sex from Hollywood.

I've been accused of bad taste, and I'll go down to my grave accused of it and always by the same people, the ones who eat in restaurants that reserve the right to refuse service to anyone.

Communism is like one big phone company.

I'm not a comedian. I'm Lenny Bruce.

Faith is to the human what sand is to the ostrich.