When you're eight years old, nothing is any of your business.

There are no dirty words, only dirty minds.

There are never enough I Love You's.

The 'what should be' never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to it. There is no 'what should be,' there is only what is.

I tried the religion scam in Miami, so I know how hard that gig is. But, if you can get it to work, starting your own religion is a license to print money.

Never tell. Not if you love your wife...In fact, if your old lady walks in on you deny it. Yeah. Just flat out and she'll believe it: "I'm tellin' ya. This chick came downstairs with a sign around her neck 'Lay On Top Of Me Or I'll Die.' " I didn't know what I was goin' to do.

The American Constitution was not written to protect criminals; it was written to protect the government from becoming criminals.