I'm sure that half the buzz from smoking grass was the fact that it was so illegal.

There's a lot of money in wars, except in the war on poverty. Can't make any bread helping the poor.

Once the country was settled and built, the bosses changed the order from a stack of educated workers to a barrel of minimum wage lottery dreamers.

A lot of people say to me, 'Why did you kill Christ?' I dunno, it was one of those parties, got out of hand, you know.

To say whatever nonsense comes into your head without any repercussions has got to be a bigger high than heckling a movie screen in a darkened theater.

The American Constitution was not written to protect criminals; it was written to protect the government from becoming criminals.

The crooks downtown figured out that comedy is like a hammer. It can put up a barn and it can knock down a wall. So they bought it outright and marketed it as Comedy Central.