The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it... try to fake three laughs in an hour - ha ha ha ha ha - they'll take you away, man. You can't.

If you're going to stop masturbating, you can't taper off. You've got to quit, cold jerky!

What you end up with is outrageousness without the laugh - comedy as electro shock therapy.

You know there's no crooked politicians. There's never a lie because there is never any truth.

I know what "custody" [of the children] means. "Get even." That's all custody means. Get even with your old lady.

The American Constitution was not written to protect criminals; it was written to protect the government from becoming criminals.

It's the suppression of the word that gives it the power, the violence, the viciousness.