I am influenced by every second of my waking hour.

I'm sure that half the buzz from smoking grass was the fact that it was so illegal.

I know what "custody" [of the children] means. "Get even." That's all custody means. Get even with your old lady.

There's a lot of money in wars, except in the war on poverty. Can't make any bread helping the poor.

You got to pay your dues to get the joke. Besides, laughter is cheap and very portable. If there's a pogrom, or they're blaming you for the plague, nothing is easier to pack than a sense of humor.

Darwin's theory is as dead as he is. Everyone is surviving, fit or not. Years ago, any kid dumb enough to chase a shiny object down a well was dead, and out of the gene pool. Now they got the technology and medicine to save the fool so he can breed more open mouth breathers.

If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone.