I am influenced by every second of my waking hour.

All my humor is based upon destruction and despair.

There are never enough I Love You's.

The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of once every fifteen seconds.

The American Constitution was not written to protect criminals; it was written to protect the government from becoming criminals.

Freedom of speech is a two way street, man. You have the right to say whatever you want and the Boss has a right to tell the police to arrest you.

Communism is just one big telephone company.