Last year my wife ran off with the fellow next door and I must admit, I still miss him.
I discovered the wife's got asthma. Thank God - I thought she was hissing at me.
Slumps don't bother me.
The wife's Mother said, ‘When you're dead, I'll dance in your grave.’ I said: ‘Good, I'm being buried at sea’.
My mother-in-law had to stop skipping for exercise. It registered seven on the Richter scale.
I knew I'd chosen the wrong airline when I noticed the sick bag had the Lord's Prayer on it.