Everyone has a family tree; the Dawsons have one, it's a weeping willow.
I discovered the wife's got asthma. Thank God - I thought she was hissing at me.
I know my name will always be linked with women.
I'm not saying my mother didn't like me, but she kept looking for loopholes in my birth certificate.
My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.
My lad chewed and swallowed a dictionary. We gave him Epsom salts - but we can't get a word out of him.