There is a remote tribe that worships the number zero. Is nothing sacred?
I took the wife's family out for tea biscuits. They weren't too happy about having to give blood though.
Funny thing how you first meet the woman that you marry. I first met the wife in a tunnel of love. She was digging it.
I discovered the wife's got asthma. Thank God - I thought she was hissing at me.
My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind.
I went to the doctor last week. I said: 'Can I have some sleeping pills for the wife?' He said: 'Why?' I said: 'She's woke up.