My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind.
My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.
Take my wife... please. I'm not saying she's ugly, but when she went to see a horror film, the audience thought she was making a personal appearance.
Slumps don't bother me.
Last year my wife ran off with the fellow next door and I must admit, I still miss him.
Funny thing how you first meet the woman that you marry. I first met the wife in a tunnel of love. She was digging it.