I like my sex the way I play basketball, one on one with as little dribbling as possible.

It doesn't really matter where I go (Heaven or Hell). I'll have plenty of friends in both places.

It's not really that I've been an advocate for hearing aids for a long time, it's just that I've been losing my hearing for a long time! So it's actually very important for me because I'm actually hearing impaired and I simply want to hear better!

Are you having problems hearing? If so, those around you already know it. Hearing loss is no laughing matter, so don't be a punchline.

Those who the gods seek to destroy first, learn how to play golf.

Like a midget at a urinal I was going to have to stay on my toes.

Doing nothing is very hard to do... you never know when you're finished.