It's not really that I've been an advocate for hearing aids for a long time, it's just that I've been losing my hearing for a long time! So it's actually very important for me because I'm actually hearing impaired and I simply want to hear better!

Like a midget at a urinal I was going to have to stay on my toes.

One thing a person won't do when he's laughing is try to beat you up.

The actual distance a bad golfer is going to hit the ball with any club obviously depends on many factors, not the least of which is whether the ball was actually hit at all.

Truth hurts. Maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts.

The reason there's a question mark on my front door is just in case I forget my address.

There's an old saying that God exists in your search for him. I just want you to understand that I ain't looking.