It's amazing what I could've written in my life if I had realized that I should keep writing and not masturbating.

It's amazing what I could've written in my life if I had realized that I should keep writing and not masturbating.

Basically, I started on stage yelling and I kept yelling, and then I yelled some more, and then I yelled even louder. I'm modulated now.

We have a two-party system: The Democratic Party, which is a party of no ideas, and the Republican Party, which is a party of bad ideas.

I watch some CNN and a lot of Fox, because it helps me get irritated.

Christians have created a holiday that has become a beast that cannot be fed. Christmas gets longer and longer and longer, and you don't care, do you? You just take more and more of the calendar for yourself. It's unbelievable. How long does it take you people to shop? It's beyond belief. It's insane. When I was a kid, Halloween was Halloween, and Santa wasn't poking his ass into it.

Turns out we've been eating the wrong things...since the dawn of civilisation