Parenting isn't just parenting your own child.

My touring has never stopped; from the time I started doing stand-up, I've been on the road.

You can never put too much pork in your mouth as far as I'm concerned.

You realize that for all the shenanigans that go on in the big circus of politics, everybody wakes up and goes to work.

Donald Trump came out as a birther, which is Republican for, 'I'm running for president.'

I was broke until I was 40. Really broke. I could get by, but I had nothing. No health insurance, so if something happened I was screwed. I was lucky my parents had money and my brother was willing to support me for a long time. Once I started doing standup, I had an income, and that was amazing to me.

I love anything that gets me outside of my own head.