Parenting isn't just parenting your own child.

If we're not going to tax the rich anymore, we're going to create class warfare.

All the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911.

Johnny Vassilaros is the man who has created the finest cup of coffee ever served in the city of New York.

I'm constantly in fear of having a stroke.

I was broke until I was 40. Really broke. I could get by, but I had nothing. No health insurance, so if something happened I was screwed. I was lucky my parents had money and my brother was willing to support me for a long time. Once I started doing standup, I had an income, and that was amazing to me.

It's a shame cars don't run on cognitive dissonance.