The one thing I think we learned this year is that the Democrats and the Republicans are completely worthless.

If you're going to pick a book and you want to base a system of government around it, why not 'Harry Potter?'

My favorite health club is the International House of Pancakes

Turns out we've been eating the wrong things...since the dawn of civilisation

North Korea is the country that the monkeys in the Wizard of Oz came from.

Basically, I started on stage yelling and I kept yelling, and then I yelled some more, and then I yelled even louder. I'm modulated now.

Usually I'm too tired to apologize.