I have N'Sync and Aerosmith and Britney Spears. I have a trifecta from hell.

When it comes to idiots, America's got more than its fair share. If idiots were energy, it would be a source that would never run out.

Macs are not intuitive. It's intuitive to the person who created it. It's not intuitive to me.

Elected officials shouldn’t get to choose who gets to choose elected officials.

Turns out we've been eating the wrong things...since the dawn of civilisation

When I was a kid, you ate, and you drank, and you passed out and nobody woke you up and said, 'Let's go shopping.

I've been very lucky. There are guys I know who are really terrific in this business of stand-up who have not gotten the recognition they deserve. And it's nice, if you've put in the time, to achieve that recognition.