How long can we go without real leadership? It's like an experiment. It's [a problem with] both parties, it's beyond belief.

I don't believe pumpkin pie is even made from pumpkin. I mean, how can something that smells that shitty make a pie so sweet? There's not enough sugar in the universe.

I was broke until I was 40. Really broke. I could get by, but I had nothing.

Political audiences are not fun.

Parenting isn't just parenting your own child.

The fine line that you do when you do political comedy is, as long as you have that laugh, you're fine.

There's no reason to tweet when you are in the midst of a great moment; they are few and far between. So pay attention to it, as you probably won't see it again. You can always tweet later, if you're lucky enough to be part of history and you think 140 characters can do credit to someone like Martin Luther King or to the speech he made that day.