Can somebody explain to me why Pepsi and Coke advertise? Are we missing something? Seriously, everyone in this room has drank enough Pepsi and Coke in their lifetime they could piss it for a week.

Do you know what 'meteorologist' means in English? It means liar.

Janeane Garofalo ended up, in a sense, being pushed by the media into becoming a pundit.

I have never thought of my entertainment as being able to bring about social change. I am seriously always looking for the laugh. What it did make me conscious of was having empathy for those without any power in this country. That has always stuck with me.

It's a privilege to pay taxes. Yeah! It's not a political question, folks. We have to pay for stuff.

There is absolutely nothing you can learn out of one bllodeshot eye.

As psychotic as it gets outside, the comic can be more psychotic.