I don't buy the 'at 60 it's great to have kids' thing. I don't buy the line that has been thrown down - 'You can have a kid at any time.' That doesn't mean you should.

I have this insane optimistic streak that the American people prevail over the stupidity that the leadership exhibits time and time again, and I think that's the truth.

I hammer on a theme until I'm tired of it and the audience is tired of it.

Most of the longer-term relationships I've known have been gay relationships. They seem to be able to hang out longer.

When they played, it wasn't music. It was the sound of chaos. I knew it was the sound of chaos because you could hear pigs being slaughtered. Women were weeping and men were gnashing their teeth, and there were sounds so horrible that I cannot repeat them to you, or you would flee from this room in horror!

It's a shame cars don't run on cognitive dissonance.

You've got to be stupid to heckle me - I am very equipped to win.