I'm amazed that anyone is interested in what I have to say.

My touring has never stopped; from the time I started doing stand-up, I've been on the road.

Nobody in college races home and says, 'I can't wait to see the news! I can't wait to see who CBS is going to hire!'

I was broke until I was 40. Really broke. I could get by, but I had nothing.

I'm a happy person but an angry citizen.

Democrats are dumb and Republicans are stupid, but the difference between dumb and stupid is dumb isn't funny. Dumb is when you say something and the whole room goes, 'What did he say?'

My father painted, well into his 80s, what he called hard edge abstractions. It's really cool.