The reason I like socialism is that it's kind of enforced Christianity. It's basically very Christian, in the sense of "do unto others as you would have them do unto you." These people have nothing, so you have to share.

I like indoor Christmas trees. And I like people who decorate their homes with lights and all that crap. I think it's a healthy outlet for them. If they weren't covering their lawns with twinkling lights, they'd be doing something that was really, really creepy.

I'd like the campaigning to be about all the things they're not going to do. Just tell me what you're not going do! Don't tell me what you're going to do. Just say "I'd really like to do solar energy but I'm not going to be able to. I really want to dig holes everywhere in the country but I really won't be able to do it because people seem to think that maybe my water will be screwed up."

I feel the need to scream, and even if the scream is not answered, I find my sanity in the echo.

The fine line that you do when you do political comedy is, as long as you have that laugh, you're fine.

I watch some CNN and a lot of Fox, because it helps me get irritated.

If you're going to pick a book and you want to base a system of government around it, why not 'Harry Potter?'