I'd much rather sit next to a smoker in a restaurant than a nose-blower.

I grew up in a very large family in a very small house. I never slept alone until after I was married.

The only way that I could figure they could improve upon Coca-Cola, one of life's most delightful elixirs, which studies prove will heal the sick and occasionally raise the dead, is to put bourbon in it.

I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married.

The game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems, block your fears, and score your points when you get the opportunity.

Today's sensitive male has learned to share in open frank discussions about relationships like, "Where the hell did you get a crazy idea like that? You been reading Redbook again?"

I get letters from people who say, 'What have you got against women?' What could I possibly have against women? I've married three of them.