I'd much rather sit next to a smoker in a restaurant than a nose-blower.

Baptists never make love standing up. They're afraid someone might see them and think they're dancing.

When My Love Returns from the Ladies Room, Will I Be Too Old to Care?

I grew up in a very large family in a very small house. I never slept alone until after I was married.

God bless Merle Haggard. He did all the things that Johnny Cash was supposed to have done.

Elvis is dead and I don't feel so good for myself.

There is something wrong when you wait in line thirty minutes to get a hamburger that was cooked for ninety seconds an hour ago.