I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married.

Life is like a dogsled race. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.

I know lots of people who are educated far beyond their intelligence.

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house.

There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.

It's better to have died a small child than to be a politician who gets caught in a scandal during a slow news month.

The idiot who invented instant grits also thought of frozen fried chicken, and they ought to lock him up before he tries to freeze-dry collards.