Spring time is the land awakening.

Life is like a dogsled race. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.

There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.

The only way that I could figure they could improve upon Coca-Cola, one of life's most delightful elixirs, which studies prove will heal the sick and occasionally raise the dead, is to put bourbon in it.

If soccer was an American soft drink, it would be Diet Pepsi

Elvis is dead and I don't feel so good for myself.

Money doesn't grow on trees, and if it did somebody else would own the orchard.