Spring time is the land awakening.

The only way that I could figure they could improve upon Coca-Cola, one of life's most delightful elixirs, which studies prove will heal the sick and occasionally raise the dead, is to put bourbon in it.

If you are not the lead dog, your scenery never changes.

Today's sensitive male has learned to share in open frank discussions about relationships like, "Where the hell did you get a crazy idea like that? You been reading Redbook again?"

Spring time is the land awakening.

I get letters from people who say, 'What have you got against women?' What could I possibly have against women? I've married three of them.

Elvis is dead and I don't feel so good for myself.