They tore out my heart and stomped that sucker flat.

God bless Merle Haggard. He did all the things that Johnny Cash was supposed to have done.

I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married.

Today's sensitive male has learned to share in open frank discussions about relationships like, "Where the hell did you get a crazy idea like that? You been reading Redbook again?"

On a New York subway you get fined for spitting, but you can throw up for nothing.

They tore out my heart and stomped that sucker flat.

It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.