They tore out my heart and stomped that sucker flat.

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house.

There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.

I know lots of people who are educated far beyond their intelligence.

"Have you done your homework?" my mother would ask. "I'll do it later." "You will do it now, young man. I don't want you winding up on the third shift at Flagg-Utica." Flagg-Utica was a local textile plant. Somehow, I never could figure how failing to read three chapters in my geography book about the various sorts of vegetation to be found in a tropical rain forest had anything to do with facing a life as a mill hand. But with enough guilt and fear as catalysts, you can read anything, even geography books and Deuteronomy.

The game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems, block your fears, and score your points when you get the opportunity.

Kinky sex involves the use of duck feathers. Perverted sex involves the whole duck.