They tore out my heart and stomped that sucker flat.

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house.

I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married.

In the south there's a difference between 'Naked' and 'Nekkid.' 'Naked' means you don't have any clothes on. 'Nekkid' means you don't have any clothes on and you're up to somethin'.

The only way that I could figure they could improve upon Coca-Cola, one of life's most delightful elixirs, which studies prove will heal the sick and occasionally raise the dead, is to put bourbon in it.

Sex hasn't been the same since women started enjoying it.

There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.