Today's sensitive male has learned to share in open frank discussions about relationships like, "Where the hell did you get a crazy idea like that? You been reading Redbook again?"

There's no such thing as being too Southern.

Sex hasn't been the same since women started enjoying it.

You call to a dog and a dog will break its neck to get to you. Dogs just want to please. Call to a cat and its attitude is, 'What's in it for me?'

I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married.

If soccer was an American soft drink, it would be Diet Pepsi

Elvis is dead and I don't feel so good for myself.