It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.
Money doesn't grow on trees, and if it did somebody else would own the orchard.
On a New York subway you get fined for spitting, but you can throw up for nothing.
Today's sensitive male has learned to share in open frank discussions about relationships like, "Where the hell did you get a crazy idea like that? You been reading Redbook again?"
Kinky sex involves the use of duck feathers. Perverted sex involves the whole duck.
If soccer was an American soft drink, it would be Diet Pepsi