God bless Merle Haggard. He did all the things that Johnny Cash was supposed to have done.

Baptists never make love standing up. They're afraid someone might see them and think they're dancing.

They tore out my heart and stomped that sucker flat.

I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married.

There is something wrong when you wait in line thirty minutes to get a hamburger that was cooked for ninety seconds an hour ago.

Let's all start walking more and driving less.

If soccer was an American soft drink, it would be Diet Pepsi