If you are not the lead dog, your scenery never changes.

I'd much rather sit next to a smoker in a restaurant than a nose-blower.

There's no such thing as being too Southern.

God bless Merle Haggard. He did all the things that Johnny Cash was supposed to have done.

I get letters from people who say, 'What have you got against women?' What could I possibly have against women? I've married three of them.

Money doesn't grow on trees, and if it did somebody else would own the orchard.

When My Love Returns from the Ladies Room, Will I Be Too Old to Care?