"Have you done your homework?" my mother would ask. "I'll do it later." "You will do it now, young man. I don't want you winding up on the third shift at Flagg-Utica." Flagg-Utica was a local textile plant. Somehow, I never could figure how failing to read three chapters in my geography book about the various sorts of vegetation to be found in a tropical rain forest had anything to do with facing a life as a mill hand. But with enough guilt and fear as catalysts, you can read anything, even geography books and Deuteronomy.
Lewis GrizzardThere is something wrong when you wait in line thirty minutes to get a hamburger that was cooked for ninety seconds an hour ago.
Lewis GrizzardGod bless Merle Haggard. He did all the things that Johnny Cash was supposed to have done.
Lewis GrizzardThe idiot who invented instant grits also thought of frozen fried chicken, and they ought to lock him up before he tries to freeze-dry collards.
Lewis Grizzard